Top Ramen, beef

As this blog gains popularity (34 VISITS BOOYAH) it has, inevitably, drawn increasing criticism. As long as the complaints are constructive, I can tackle them. This means no more "you have too much time on your hands." That's an issue of your insecurity in your own boredom, not mine. However, issues such as "stop showing your glaring classism by never reviewing the dirt-cheap block ramen, rich girl" can be taken care of quite easily. I was, and still am, limited in my ability to cook non-pre-packaged ramen at work by my lack of portable microwaveable bowl. That makes Top Ramen my subject for this Super Special Saturday Night Review! (Yes, my social-life-related plans fell through. Why do you ask?)



Everybody knows and loves Top Ramen, at least in my experience. It's the ubiquitous brick o'dry noodles which takes three minutes on the stove and boom, you're done. I had five sitting in my cupboard. I don't recall how much a pack of six cost, but it was well under a dollar. You'd be hard-pressed to find a better fifteen cent meal.

Now, I'm going to warn you beforehand that I do a few things Professional Ramen Purists wouldn't do. If you're bothered by Ramen Impurity, I would suggest leaving now. There's most likely a button on your browser, up at the top and to the left of where it says theramenreview.blogspot.com, shaped like a little house. Click that, and you will be transported back to safety. If you're still here... The first thing I do when I get the package out of the cupboard is break the brick into fourths. I find eating hard noodles really gross, and this seems to speed up cooking. Herein lies my only true complaint with Top Ramen. The packaging, although sufficient for most, has a tendency to split at the seam when I break the brick. I haven't encountered this with other brands. All's well that ends well, though, and usually it ends up with me actually remembering to take out the seasoning packet. Trust me, you don't want that to end up in the boiling water. The second Impure Action is letting it cook for a whole four minutes. I really don't like hard noodles. I then drain (gasp) the whole thing, dump the seasoning on, and stir. I'll make soup out of it occasionally, but most of the time I prefer salt-saturated goodness. Occasionally if I'm a slow eater I'll have to put a little water on it to moisten it back up, but it's all good.

When it's soupy, the texture is liquidy and noodley. When it's not, the texture is sticky-noodley. I'm not sure how much there really is to say about Top Ramen in general- it's cheap, fast, reliable and pretty tasty. It's also full of fat and sodium, but so is all ramen, and that's what makes it so good. Seeing as I'll probably come back to other varieties of this one, I should make a mention of the beef flavor. It does resemble salty beef, and it's pretty good. I'm not sure whether I prefer it over chicken- I swing back and forth. The color's also a convincing brown, if that helps any.

Score: 4.5/5